Every year without fail thousands of clubbers descend on the clubbing capital of the world with bright eyes and a renewed sense of hope that maybe this trip will be different. Maybe they will be disciplined with themselves for once and be good (by Ibiza standard at least). Ibiza is a strange beast that takes no prisoners. Thousands of tried and many have failed to tame the island that everyone holds dearly. Will this year finally be the year where you obey the rules you set for yourself and return home all the better for it? Probably not. We all tell ourselves little lies to help us feel better about ourselves and here are some of our favourites!
Go To The West End
We always tell ourselves, “maybe this time we’ll stay away from the west end and just stick to nice sophisticated bars” and every year we fail. Once you enter the West End everything changes. Say goodbye to all logic & reason and when there are drinks promotions like €2 for a shot you can kiss your plans for the day after goodbye. You’re probably going to blackout and wake up in very unfamiliar surroundings. Speaking of which…
Waking Up In A Strange Place
You aim to sleep in your own bed or you aim to pull and sleep with a stranger in their bed. One thing you don’t really aim for is waking up somewhere surrounded by people you don’t know with no recollection of how you got there. Let’s hope those who find you don’t have cameras or you could be immortalised in Ibiza folklore like this poor bloke who woke up in the wrong apartment!
Go Mad On The First Night
We like to call this “first night syndrome”. You may have booked this trip months ago. It’s been all you’ve looked forward to for months. You’re finally here. Surrounded by like-minded individuals who want to party like every night is their last night on the island and there are so many amazing clubs and world-class DJs that you’re spoiled for choice! You need to remember that no matter how long you’re here for, be it four months or four days, it’s a marathon, not a sprint. You’ll never learn though! Most people head off and go crazy on the first night and spend their second day regretting it.
Spending A Ridiculous Amount Of Money
We are under no illusions here. Ibiza is damn expensive. You will need to spend time budgeting to make sure you’re not completely out of money for your final few days on the island. Regardless of how many budgets you do, however, you’re going to go over budget. I guarantee it! Between huge entry fees for the clubs, drink prices once you’re in there, food, taxis and any other extra-curricular activities you take part in while on the island, you’re going to need a good pot of money put to one side. Brace yourself for looking at your bank account when you return home…
Not Going To Use Your Card
Only for emergencies, right? Wrong! You’re going to end up buying at least two rounds on the card per night and dig that financial hole even deeper again. Just pray that you don’t lose it, you’ll need it for emergencies after all!
Sleeping In All Day
At the end of the day, you are in Spain. Siestas are encouraged but try not to overindulge here. You are on the island for a short period of time so you should be out making the most of it! Get out and see the different side of the island, like the scenery and the markets. Daytime parties are also insanely good fun. From boat parties to pool parties, you’re spoiled for choice so don’t spend your days nursing a hangover in your room. Get up and get on with it!
Going Out On Your Last Night
Airports are incredibly stressful places at the best of times. Surrounded by people frantically trying to get through security and catch their flight. When you’re of sound body and mind, airports can be incredibly difficult so to do it after a heavy night is possibly the worst idea ever. Alas, it always happens. You’ve got an early flight home and you stumble in from Circoloco with an hour to pack, leave the house and get to the airport. Game on! Hopefully, you make it and if you do I’m pretty sure you’re gonna feel exactly like this fella while you’re holding on for dear life in Burger King.
— Ibiza Club News (@IbizaClubNews) September 15, 2017