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Confessions Of A: Ibiza Drug Dealer

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Confessions Of A: Ibiza Drug Dealer

This winter, we’ve decided to take a little step back from the mainstream club news we normally report during the Ibiza season and bring you a little bit of a taste of what goes on on the island when we scratch a little bit away at the surface. In our brand new Confessions Of A series we’ll be chatting to some of Ibiza’s summer characters to bring you the strangest, craziest, funniest and outright unbelievable confessions the island has to offer.

This week we spoke to an Ibiza Drug Dealer, we’re going to call him Mark to protect his identity, and asked him to tell us some of his top secrets and confessions.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen while selling drugs in Ibiza?

Oh man, I see all sorts of weird shit in Ibiza, even stuff that’s considered normal here would be classed as weird back home but I suppose the weirdest thing I ever saw here was when I was dropping some gear off to an apartment full of old German geezers, they was all at least in their fifties, when I went in they were all crawling around the floor like animals, but dressed head to toe in black PVC. They asked me if I wanted to stay but I just got the money and ran. If it was like that when I arrived imagine what was gonna happen after they got the kezza.

Have you ever sold to any celebrities?

Are you serious? It’s Ibiza mate, half the poeple I’m selling to are celebrities, or at least they think they are anyway. Nah, but, look, I’m not gonna go naming any names, dealer-customer confidentiality, innit, but yeah there’s lots of famous people over here in the summer and they come to have a good time just like everyone else. I’ve sold to actors, footballer, Instagram models and I think I even had a politician once. Then there’s DJs, who make up about fifty percent of my customers. Ha ha ha ha ha.

How much money do you actually make?

I’m not telling you that bruv. Let’s just say my prices are fair and I do alright. I don’t work during the winter so for me it’s all about being smart and keeping enough money to get me through until next year. I always try to suss out who I’m selling to and how much they can afford. So if I’ve got people staying in cheap hotels or apartment I’ll look after them, then the people who stay in the big five star places or luxury villas pay a little extra. Sometimes I’ll give them the option of two prices and tell them one is better than the other, if they choose the more expensive option I know they got a wedge but all of my gear is good so it all comes from the same bag.

Don’t forget to check back weekly for more confessions from the White Isle.

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